I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
