I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
