Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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