i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
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