Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
