Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize