you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
