Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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