well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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