she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
