I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
