Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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