stop calling my apartment porn island.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
