i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
