You're completely useless in the revolution.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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