guys are not supposed to queef...right?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize