big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
