it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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