I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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