you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
