Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
