She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
