i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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