i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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