We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
