she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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