you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
