Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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