have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
