So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
