there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am one with the molecules
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
