haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
