one might say we're banned from that church
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
