i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize