Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
