hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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