your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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