Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
