i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
