sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
