i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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