Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
