His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
