i may or may not be watching the land before time
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
