We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Drunk is not a location!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize