im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Randomize
