Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
