Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
