I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
