Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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