He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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