I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
