Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
