Buhtt sex?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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