If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
