Non-Jews are for practice
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
