I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
