My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Alive.
So much puke
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is Oprah even human
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
