I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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